It’s a good idea for children to do age-appropriate chores at home. Kids learn to be self-sufficient and get a confidence boost. Kids who do chores at home have greater self-esteem as adults.

Nowadays, parents are exhausted, and teens are distracted. What if your teen is resistant to doing chores? What if they constantly complain and you are annoyed and overwhelmed? I’ve been there and have two tips that help.

Assign frequent mini-chore lists

First, give your teen a short (two-to-three task) chore list more frequently instead of a longer list say, once a week. Instead of telling them to do the chores NOW and getting annoyed that they don’t hop to immediately (which, let’s face it, they usually don’t), give them the short written list (or send them a text); and tell them that the chores must be done sometime today by, e.g., 6pm.

Tell them that if the chores are not done by that time, then you will hunt them down at said time and make them do them. If they don’t want you to get involved, they need to do the chores before 6.

Teens want to be independent and don’t like to be told what to do. This strategy supports their independence by giving them the chance to get things done on their own, and on their own time, without involving the parents.

Break tasks down into micro-tasks

Second, break tasks down into micro-tasks. For example, we cook frequently in my house, and I involve my teen all the time. My take is that cooking is an essential life skill.

Teens often don’t have the patience to cook a meal from scratch. But they can chop a vegetable or stir a pot while you do something else in the kitchen, or they can read an ingredient list and gather and measure ingredients.

Even if your teen doesn’t have the patience to cook an entire meal with you, you can teach them certain cooking skills by chunking tasks down. If they resist, tell them, “Please do this one thing, it will only take a minute or two, and then you can go.” That usually motivates them to get the task done and they may have learned something

What other tasks do your teens do regularly?

Or, gasp! ask them to take a walk with you, or to participate in family time? No joke, we call it “forced family time” in my house!

Isn’t it disrespect?

It is easy for us parents to assume that teens are disrespecting us. And yes, nobody likes it when someone else rolls their eyes when they say something. I’ve heard parents say, “An employer wouldn’t tolerate the eye roll!”

Yes, that’s true. But we’re not our teens’ employers. We are their parents. It is not (and should not be) the same relationship. I have an alternative way of framing the eye roll, one that does not assume disrespect and that preserves the parent-teen relationship.

What does the eye roll really mean?

First, a teen’s eye roll communicates to us that they are comfortable doing this in front of us. They feel safe conveying that they are annoyed. Would you be comfortable doing this if you were yelled at every time? Probably not (or you would hide the eye roll, and parents would miss this piece of communication).

Second, they are rolling their eyes because it’s a way of communicating opposition to and differentiation from parents. And guess what? That is developmentally normal for teens at this time in their lives. It doesn’t mean that it’s not frustrating for parents. It’s tied in with the natural separation from parents that teens progressively experience.

Third, deep down teens truly want their parents to fight for them. They want to know that they have unconditional love and support from parents, no matter their behavior or how they treat the parents. Never stop trying to connect. Never stop fighting. Never stop making plans for “forced family time.”

This may seem counterintuitive. After all, why do teens seem to push parents away if they really want closeness? Remember that teens do not yet have the emotional maturity of adults. Also, part of this process is to make sure that parents walk the walk and love their teens no matter what.

Fight for your teen

Teens can be difficult to read. Sometimes they want to act cool and detached, but they are actually having fun and appreciating the presence of the parents. I suggest that you roll with this and do not make comments about how sullen or detached or annoyed the teen seems. Roll with the activity, ask your teen to participate, and have a good time.

A teen I know went on a guided nature hike with his family. His parents told me how his posture and demeanor were not negative or irritated, but they were detached and reserved (arms crossed, didn’t say much, etc.). The parents decided to say nothing about it, and to continue the hike. The guide made a point of asking the teen questions, and the teen gradually participated more. After the hike was over and the family was in the car, the teen said, “That was fun and the guide was really nice.” If the parents had made a big deal about the teen’s detached manner, they would have missed this important piece of information, that the teen got something out of the experience and had actually enjoyed it.

*There’s another lesson in there about how teens tend to cooperate more freely when they feel as if the adult cares about them and their opinions, but that’s for another day

Remember when your kid was a toddler and started to walk everywhere? They wanted to explore, then would come back to you to make sure you were still there. Your teen is similar. They go do their thing, go out with friends or try a new activity, then they test to make sure that the parent is still present, both physically and emotionally (that they still have the “secure base” as psychologists put it). When they feel secure that the parent still loves them, they feel comfortable going out on their own again.

Your teen is testing how you react to them individuating. To them separating from you. Teens may not realize it at first (or until they leave home and are really alone), but this process of separation is difficult for them, too.

Need help?

This process of separating from parents takes place over years. So ask yourself: when your teen comes back to you to make sure you are still emotionally present, and makes a bid for connection such as asking you to watch TV with them or sharing something personal, how do you respond? Because your response is the foundation for the health of the relationship. And I can help. Reach out directly at Work with Me – Law School Heretic

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Do you know what the Number One WORST trait of the Aries parent is? The trait that Aries parents would most benefit from developing? Well, we are going there today.

Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, and is associated with the first house, the house of self. Aries is a fire sign and a cardinal sign. Aries parents are fierce advocates for their children. Indeed, there is much to love about the Aries parent. Today we’re talking about the top WORST trait.

Click the image below for the video!

This video is at the request of a viewer – Please send me your requests for content by dropping a comment below OR emailing me on maria@lawschoolheretic.com.

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This zodiac energy combination is an energetic powerhouse that leaves onlookers’ heads spinning, as these two enjoy intellectual discussions, bursts of energy apparently coming from nowhere, and enthusiasm for finding their niche in the group.

I also talk about:
*How to work on your emotional triggers
*The WORST thing you can do to your Aquarius child
*How the double Aquarius dynamic brings the two of you closer

Click the image below for the video!

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***NEW!!*** Want to book me for an event to speak or to do group readings? Email booking@eighthhouseco.com

BOOK an individual Astrology Reading here!

Do you know what the best traits of the Aries parent are? The best traits that you can offer your child? The Number One strength of the Aries parent? Hold on, because we’re going there today.

Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, and is associated with the first house, the house of self. Aries is a fire sign and a cardinal sign. Aries parents are fierce advocates for their children. Indeed, there is much to love about the Aries parent.

Find out the TOP 3 TRAITS of the Aries parent by clicking the image below:

It is more difficult than ever to be a teenager. Even though you went through this rite of passage yourself, things are different today. Teens feel more pressure to achieve and to find their place in society. All this while dealing with the myriad of distractions that plague us today, pulling us in different directions and demanding our attention. It is easy for them to feel as if they do not have control over their lives.

This feeling of a lack of autonomy contributes to a host of issues, some of which I myself experienced as a teen and talk about openly on my YouTube channel.

Still, parents have the power to combat all of this. There are MANY things we parents can do to raise emotionally healthy teens into responsible, independent adults. I want to share a few of those things today, so read on.

#1 Do not be afraid to let your teen fail

This may seem counterintuitive. What does this have to do with motivation? Well, we cannot always save our teens from the consequences of their own actions. Not only that, it’s not a good idea because they will get used to having someone else to always rescue them. Teens need to figure things out for themselves. They need to deal with consequences and learn to think about and foresee consequences before they act. They cannot learn to do this if we are always swooping in to rescue them.

#2 Stop comparing your teen’s school performance with others

Your teen actually feels DE-motivated when you do this, because it reinforces their insecurity that they are not good enough.

Moreover, a teen who gets straight As in high school is not guaranteed to have a successful, fulfilling, easy life. And the fact that your teen does not get perfect grades does not mean that they will fail at life, or will not be able to deal with life. Focus instead on making sure they have the tools to prioritize and complete tasks; and on whether they are effectively learning material that will serve them in adulthood. Most importantly, focus on creating the relationship where your teen feels comfortable talking to you about anything.

#3 Remember that you are parenting for the long haul

You are not just helping your teen get an A in a class or helping them find the right extracurricular activities to join. You are parenting with the overall relationship and connection in mind. As Gabor Mate says in his book, Hold on to your Kids, the key to raising an emotionally healthy, independent adult is the child’s connection and attachment to parents. When there is a strong attachment and the kids trust the parents, the kids are less likely to get in trouble, more likely to do better in school, and more likely to be self-motivated. A strong attachment allows kids to individuate and become independent.

Focus on being emotionally present with your teens and on spending time with them. I promise that even if it seems as if your teen does not want to spend time with you, they appreciate your efforts and will remember them.

If you have additional questions about these approaches, you can schedule a call directly on my calendar here

Are you a Gemini Mom or Gemini Dad with an Aquarius child? If so, this video is for you! This video also benefits Gemini parents in general.

This video is at the request of a viewer! If you have a request for content you would like to see, please leave a comment below or email me on maria@lawschoolheretic.com

Gemini is ruled by the planet Mercury, and Aquarius is ruled by the planet Uranus. Find out the similarities and differences between these two zodiac signs! Also find out how best to parent your Aquarius child!

I also talk about my personal link to this sign combination, and why it is so special to me

Click the image below for the full video:

You can find my book, Your Gemini Child, at these retailers:
–Audiobook 
–Amazon​
–Barnes & Noble

I am thrilled to announce the publication of The Enlightened Passenger, written by my friend and fellow author and speaker, Corey Poirier.

Corey has been a Tedx speaker FOUR TIMES and is a Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Amazon and B&N best-selling author!

Corey’s book has already been endorsed by Neale Donald Walsch, Lisa Nichols, and Jon Talarico, among others!

The Enlightened Passenger tells the story of Robert, a young businessman who gets more than he bargained for during a flight, in the form of a mysterious and sage seatmate.

This brisk book is a must-read and a wonderful reminder of what we should be paying attention to among a world of ever-increasing constant distractions and shiny objects.

It is also an engaging read with laugh-out-loud funny moments!

Read The Enlightened Passenger with your kids

As I read the book, I paused after each chapter to let the practical lesson sink in. I plan to read it again with my teenager. I highly recommend that parents read The Enlightened Passenger together with their children, as it is a family-friendly read for all ages.

Vital lessons you don’t want to miss!

The lessons from The Enlightened Passenger should be internalized and revisited as timely admonitions to take to heart. In this short book you will learn:

• How to draw more synchronicities into your life for personal and professional fulfillment
• The most important word in the English language
• How to fix your mindset to achieve your goals
• The right way to harness the Law of Attraction
• Why you should use the PLATINUM RULE (not the Golden Rule)
• And more!

GRAB your copy by clicking here!

This video on Taurus children is at the request of a viewer! If you have a request for content, please leave a comment below or email me on maria@lawschoolheretic.com

Taurus is arguably the energy most strongly connected with Mother Earth. It is a deep, stabilizing, grounded energy that craves stability and predictability. Ruled by Venus and associated with the second house, Taurus children feel connected to the material resources that are provided by the Earth.

Find out what to do (and what NOT to do) when you parent your Taurus child! Click on the image above for the video

As parents, our greatest challenge and triumph can come from nurturing our children through life’s toughest transitions. I’m thrilled to invite you to Real Divorce Talks taking place on May 7 & 8.

On May 7 from 5:30 – 6:00pm CST, I’ll be presenting my talk titled “Strengthening Relationships with our Children after Divorce.” In this session, we’ll explore effective strategies for supporting our children emotionally and ensuring they feel loved and secure, even when family dynamics change.

Alongside my presentation, the event boasts an array of incredible speakers including Stacy Braiuca, Kaki Perdue, Jennifer Greene, Leandra Frey, and Lucinda Sykes. Each will be sharing their wisdom on topics ranging from self-care for busy professionals to financial empowerment and stress management during and post-divorce.

Are you ready to reclaim your narrative and step into your power?

Register HERE for Real Divorce Talks!

Empower yourself with knowledge, find support among like-minded individuals, and discover tools that can truly make a difference in your life. I can’t wait to see you there!

Click HERE to register for this FREE event!

Best,
Maria