Capricorn Calm: How to Model Emotional Regulation during your Child’s Tantrum

Capricorns are often thought of as stoic and reserved, even unemotional.

Of course, Capricorn people have the same emotional experiences as the rest of us. It’s just that they are usually calm under pressure and do not wear their emotions on their sleeves. Capricorn energy is, at its core, a grounding earth energy.

Your Strengths as a Capricorn Parent

The stabilizing energy of Capricorn translates to emotionally consistent parenting. Capricorn parents are great at self-regulation. Whether you have a toddler who is in the tantrum stage or a teenager who displays intense emotions (which are developmentally appropriate at that age), the Capricorn parent has the capacity to be a calm, centering presence for their children.

This trait is wonderful because kids need emotional consistency from parents. They feel safe when they can predict how the parent will respond. And they feel comforted when they can count on the parent to remain calm when their own emotions are out of control. When kids are forced to walk on eggshells around the parent, kids are traumatized by the lack of attunement and consistency.

Further, by modelling emotional regulation, parents teach kids how to regulate their own emotional experiences. Kids, even teenagers, look to parents as a guide for whether their own emotional responses are appropriate and proportional to the event. When parents are able to regulate and remain calm and judgment-free, kids learn to do this for themselves. It is one of the most helpful traits that kids take into adulthood.

How can parents model emotional regulation for kids?

Here are a few tips for how parents can stay composed when your child’s emotions are running high.

1. Remind yourself that this behavior will pass. Kids’ tantrums are typically short-lived and young kids are easily directed to another activity.
2. Remind yourself that you CANNOT control the behavior of other people, including your kids. You can ONLY control your own behavior. This realization is liberating because it allows you to LET GO of trying to control others and to REDIRECT your energy to yourself.
3. Put some physical space between you and your kid. Take a few steps back or leave the room for a few moments if it is safe to do so.
4. Redirect your attention somewhere else (this helps you to avoid being disassociated and on autopilot). One of my favorite techniques is to count colors. This involves picking one color and counting all the items in the room with that color. Another technique is to touch something and note the texture. Doing these activities help keep you grounded and regulated.
5. Get moving. Take a walk, or even just walk around the room.
6. Take a few deep, calming breaths. This will help you focus on your breath instead of the trigger.

Please let me know what worked for you!

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