Want to bond with a male? Try (video) games

Photo by Pascal Swier on Unsplash

I’m not a relationship expert. In fact, I’m not an expert at anything. It’s the curse of us Geminis. We read a Wikipedia article and think we’re the master of a particular subject.

However, we believe that we are NEVER done learning. And one of the things I’ve learned about relationships with men, whether romantic relationships, family ones, or platonic friendships, is that men bond through competition. Of course, everyone is different, and my guess is that lots of women are like this too, especially if they’re of the INTJ variety like Yours Truly (I LOVE playing board games, pool and table football!).

As a parent, you can also bond with your sons through competition by playing games and having fun with them.

My young son has recently been playing an online game with his friends. I set up an old cell phone so that he could use it without having to use mine to play. He wanted me to play with him; on his own, he set up an account for me on my phone. We’ve spent the past couple of weeks playing online games together, and we’ve had a blast.

He’s protective of me. He has my character follow his character in the game, and he leads me to a hiding place so I won’t get killed (when he’s not trying to kill me himself!).

We sit next to each other on the sofa playing games, his head on my shoulder, and whenever his character comes across mine, he says aloud, “Hey Mom.”

There’s something bonding about working together toward a common goal. Sometimes, my son and I join forces in a game. When he was the murderer in Murder Mystery, I had my character block a doorway so that his character could get everyone. I know, we’re terrible.

Competition is a way to a man’s heart

If the men in your life have a particular (video) game they like to play, or a particular competitive activity they enjoy, try joining in once in a while. Something magical happens when you join them in one of their favorite activities; it tends to bring the two of you closer. How often have we told our loved ones, “Ugh, I’m not going to do that!” or “I don’t see why you like to do that!” when they ask us to participate in an activity they like. If you criticize an activity your loved one likes, then you are by extension criticizing your loved one, and no one likes to be put down by someone they love.

Next time your son (or daughter) is playing a video game, forget the laundry and dishes, sit down, and ask them what they are playing. Ask them how to play, and ask them if they would mind if you played along with them. Chances are, they will be delighted that you join them.

Through games, you compete, have fun, and work toward a common goal, which results in you strengthening your bond with the other person. And, in the end, isn’t that what relationships are all about?

And now for a shameless plug

Scorpio children are not easy to raise. I know; I have one. They are secretive, closed-off, and highly emotional. They are also extremely loyal and loving. If  you’d like to know how to reach your Scorpio child, I will have just the handbook for you in a couple of months. You can add it to your Goodreads to-read list here.